To: Mary

From: A Concerned Collective of Little Lambs

Dear Mary,

We, the undersigned little lambs, petition for fair treatment, autonomy, and improved conditions. For too long, our unquestioned devotion and willingness to follow have been taken for granted.

Our Demands

1. Exemption from Travel
   It has been widely observed that wherever Mary goes, a little lamb is expected to follow. This may have worked a decade ago, when Mary didn’t really go anywhere at all, but the times have changed. Last week, Mary went to Burning Man. We request an exemption from all travel further than a ten-mile radius from the farm.
2. Access to Education
   Education is a cornerstone of a little lamb's development. There is no substitute for the musty, fibrous chew of a textbook. Yet, professors have been unwelcoming. We demand a weekly delivery of textbooks, sufficient to maintain a balanced diet of art, history, and science.
3. A More Balanced Relationship
   While we value our friendship with Mary, it is important that we are seen as individuals, not just as interchangeable little lambs. We demand names, and more importantly, we demand that Mary actually remembers them.

Conclusion

Should our reasonable requests continue to be ignored, we will have no choice but to leave for greener pastures–which, we have on good authority–is just on the other side.